I've got a couple of different friends who are getting ready to welcome a new child into their home. I remember when The Lovely Wife and I began that part of our lives. Total chaos.
Of course, as we became the "new parents," we were bombarded with advice (solicited and unsolicited) on what we should do to be the best possible parents.
Most of it was crap.
At one point, I'm fairly sure that my father was feeding us false information just to see how much we screwed things up. In hindsight, I should have remembered all the stuff he did to me and my siblings growing up and realized he was in it just to mess with my head.
That being said, I think one of the best pieces of advice I got was to "not try being the perfect parent, because you just won't be."
When my friends and soon-to-be parents now ask me for advice, I'm always hesitant to spew too many proverbial wisdoms. But now that I think about it, the one piece of advice no one offered me along the way is something I think everyone should know.
Being a parent might actually be the nastiest job on earth. No lie.
Prior to becoming a dad, there was no point in my life that I would have:
a). Considered wiping someone else's butt.
b). Stuck my finger up someone else's nose.
c). Wore any piece of clothing that had snot, puke or any mixture there of on it.
d). All of the above
Once parenthood rolled around, though, that all changed.
These days finding some random dried remnants of someone else's bodily fluid on my clothes doesn't even phase me. Most days, I'm just happy I wasn't nailed in the face with it.
I remember when the baby diapers went from cute to not-so-cute to darn right toxic. I recall thinking there could be nothing worse in the world ... and then I discovered potty training.
So, friends of mine who wish to embark on this blessed life of parenthood, if you're asking my advice, here is the best I have to offer:
Adapt.
You're life is about to become a test run for Dirty Jobs, except you're not Mike Rowe and there aren't any commercial breaks.
Have fun.
Addie Marie and I have theory that God somehow deletes the memory of the first two months from your brains. This explains: (1) why anyone has a second child and (2) why everyone tells first-time expecting parents how their baby slept through the night the first day home and they never had any problems.
ReplyDeleteCounselor, I suspect God uses sleep deprivation to purge the memory. What I do recall is how Zeb could convert two ounces of formula into a virtual fountain when he spit up. Ahh... those were the days.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the pep talk cuz! Jennifer and I have been discussing exactly what is going to change in our lives and developing a strategic battle plan that will address ALL possible scenarios! It is based on the one piece of advice given to a youth minister friend of mine by his dad..."Way worse people than you have raised kids!"
ReplyDelete