Stop It By Stepping Up

The death of Dani Countryman, which I’ve written about in our last few editions of The Kaufman Herald, is “as ugly and dispiriting a story as I’ve encountered in some time.”

I wish I could take credit for the last part of that line, but it actually comes from Steve Duin, a columnist for The Oregonian, a newspaper in Oregon. Earlier this month, Duin wrote a column lamenting about Countryman’s death, the circumstances leading up to it and his take on the situation in general.

For friends and family of Dani, the column probably isn’t an easy pill to swallow following this tragedy. It lays its share of blame in every direction, ranging from the deplorable environment of the apartments which he called “your garden-variety cesspool” to all those who attended the party that night.

While Duin may have hurt some feelings as he pointed a few fingers in his column, I’m not here to join his blame game. In my opinion, the lion’s share of the blame falls directly on the two creeps who killed her. I only bring Duin up because I think he did touch on something in his column that should alarm us all.
“…there is another level of savagery involved when kids live in harm’s way and consider it normal,” Duin wrote.

You can blame family. You can blame friends. You can blame the media. You can even blame society in general. But no matter who you choose to blame, whether it’s Dani Countryman or someone else’s child, those words should haunt us.
Too many children today grow up amidst tragedy and chaos.

And too many of them think that’s normal.

I know this to be true because I’ve met them.

As foster parents, my wife and I have seen more than our share of sad stories walk through our front door. Admittedly, at times, it’s shocking to hear their stories, their backgrounds and their situations. To most of us, it’s appalling.

Of course, we deal only with toddlers and babies, so our stories wouldn’t hold a match to the countless heroes out there who open their homes to truly troubled youth. I’m sure they have heard stories, seen sights and recounted horrors that would make all of us want to hide our heads beneath our pillows and wish it wasn’t so.

But, unfortunately, as Duin put it, it’s becoming “painfully routine” for some of today’s youth.

He’s right, and that’s wrong.

One of Duin’s readers ended a comment about his column with a turn on the phrase, “but for the grace of God, go I.”
Most of us are blessed to have grown up in good homes, with good parents and were instilled with a proper set of values.

However, I can’t totally agree with that reader.

While God’s grace may have saved most of us, I think He would like to see a few more of us quit lamenting about today’s troubled youth and do something about it.

Are you truly alarmed by tragic stories of troubled children?

Then do something about it.

Become a foster parent, a CASA worker, a Big Sister or Big Brother, or join any of the countless other volunteer efforts out there.

Dani Countryman’s grandmother, Sandra Wright of Kaufman, a strong, positive influence in the 15-year-old’s brief life, agrees.

While she’s obviously grief stricken over the loss of her beloved granddaughter, Wright already is working to set up a foundation to help other troubled teens in the Kaufman area. She wants to dedicate the effort in the memory of her granddaughter, and if anyone has ever met Ms. Wright, they know well that once she’s put her mind to something, it’s likely going to happen.

My grandfather used to always tell me, “Complaining about a problem won’t fix it. Sometimes it takes a little blood and sweat mixed in with those tears to make things better.”